You know that girl or guy who looks like their life is flawless & you kind of envy? You know who I'm talking about. They are the ones who you would change lives with just for a day because, ya know...who wouldn't want to be them?
Hair is perfect, clothes are always on trend, face is clear and makeup is always on point. They do the things you like to do -travel, eat at the best places, have something exciting to do every weekend. They are athletic, head of the class, their life is planned out and set. Their boyfriend / girlfriend / significant other is perfect for them and you know they will be together forever.
What makes you different from them? Why can't things be like that for you?
I'm about to give you the answer, so get ready. Things aren't like that for you because that's not your life.
There is a saying that I say often - you never know what happens behind closed doors. So...let's start over & look at this a different way:
You know that girl or guy who looks like their life is flawless & you kind of envy? You know who I'm talking about. They are the ones who you would change lives with just for a day because, ya know....who wouldn't want to be them?
Hair is perfect, clothes are always on trend, face is clear and makeup is always on point. But behind closed doors their Mom or Dad is constantly criticizing them about how they look and asking why can't they be more like so & so? So they try to be as perfect as possible but at night they go to bed in tears because no matter what they do, it's not good enough.
They do the things you like to do -travel, eat at the best places, have something exciting to do every weekend. Do they really? How do you know those pictures on Social Media haven't been lifted from someone else's feed and passed off as theirs? Or maybe their family travels & eats out all the time because it's easier to stay busy than to actually be with each other.
They are athletic - they'd rather be in drama, choir, photography, anywhere but playing a sport they play because Mom & Dad played sports and wouldn't understand or give them attention if they did something different.
head of the class - they are cheating to be there. Buying their papers, cheating on tests because in real life, they fell behind their freshman year but know a J.C won't be good enough for their parents.
their life is planned out and set - yep. According to who?
Their boyfriend / girlfriend / significant other is perfect for them and you know they will be together forever. Did you know that their boyfriend / girlfriend / significant other has a boyfriend / girlfriend / significant other online that you didn't know about? Or that they are emotionally abusive and feel so bad about themselves that they are afraid to leave the relationship?
What makes you different from them? Why can't things be like that for you? You still want their life?
I know these examples are pretty extreme but think about it. Sometimes what we see on the surface isn't real. We envy other people & what they have so often that we tend to forget to focus on & be grateful for what we DO have. Maybe what we have is not a lot or maybe we want more at times but there are people out there with so much less.
Let's just call this the secret to being happy - live your own life. Focus on being you. Work hard so you can have the lifestyle you want. Be grateful for everything you have now and everything you will eventually have. Don't make yourself sick with comparing yourself or your life to others when you don't know what is going on behind closed doors.
Wonderful things start to happen when you let go of envy. When you are focused on you, are grateful for what you have and begin to love your life & self, things start happening. Doors start to open, what you would normally see as a huge problem becomes something that can be figured out quickly because you start to learn what is best for you based on your life. You become less judgmental and empathy starts to bloom in it's place. The baggage you feel of never being "that" person stops weighing on you and you are free start living your authentic life. It's all about perspective.
Just remember, sometimes their grass isn't greener...sometimes...upon closer inspection, it's just mediocre astroturf.